1.5 The thoughts keep chasing me

The first thing Anna did in the morning was changing her hairstyle a little. She had been carrying that bun around for too long, and it was time to loosen up a little, literally. It felt weird to have the hair flying around her shoulders all day long, and she caught herself more than once unconsciously twirling it into a ponytail to get it out of the way. Yes, it definitely felt weird, but it also felt like she was free.

After a short breakfast on the terrace, she still had some time left to take care of her plants. The aconite had been growing very well, even without being watered for the last few days. The apple tree, however, was barely higher than the last time she had checked. But since trees took longer time to grow, that was quite alright.

The minute work was over, she packed her things and went over to the man that could possibly change her life for the better. He had sounded excited on the phone, which filled her heart with joy. That meant that he was actually looking forward to seeing her again.

Standing in front of his house, she hesitated for a bit. There had been no time to change, and her work coat was probably a little dirty. She took one, two deep breaths and then rang the doorbell. This was the moment she had been waiting for during the last 24 hours. How would he actually react when seeing her? Pulling her into a hug? Or would he be a gentleman and just shake her hand? That was unlikely. While she waited, the seconds passed, soon turning into minutes. She rang the bell again. Nothing happened. Was he in the shower, unable to hear anything?

She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait for some time. As soon as he walked through the house, he would see her and immediately open the door. Also, she could use the time to work on her guitar skills a little.

Minutes turned into a half-hour, which soon turned into an hour. Nobody walked through the house, nobody opened that door for her. Nobody was there.

Disappointed, she did not go straight home, but decided to stop by the gallery for a few minutes. It was unusual for her to feel like being amongst people, especially when she was feeling down, but she really did not want to be alone right now. There were so many thoughts flying around in her head that she could not deal with, unless she wanted to break down completely. It was better to hold her head up high, even though she felt like crying.

Soon she was surrounded by people, who all wanted to talk to her. She was still considered “the new girl in town”, and people seemed to feel the need to know everything about her. One man, Gavin Pinkerton, was particularly intrusive and did not back off, even when Anna clearly showed him that she was not interested in a flirt. A woman standing nearby did not come to her help, but just stood there and watched, looking indifferent. Anna was on her own on this one, and apparently she did not handle it well enough, since that guy kept getting closer and closer. When she closed her eyes for a second, to establish some piece in her mind, pictures from the past immediately flashed before her eyes. A strong hand, coming out of nowhere. An angry face, staring at her in disbelief. This was what she had run away from not too long ago. Did she want to jeopardize what she had built here, again?

No. She was stronger now, and she was not going to let some guy make her feel the humiliation and pain again, just because she did not dare to open her mouth. Confidently taking a step forward, she looked that guy straight in the eyes. Her face was distorted into a mask of anger, and he unconsciously leaned back a little. She used the surprise effect and made her point very clear. If he was not going to leave her alone, she was going to make his life hell. She was not going to let him treat her that way, just because he was a frustrated bachelor. Sure, the last part had been a guess, because she still did not know much about this town’s inhabitants, but by the look on the face she could tell that this guess had been a bull’s eye.

The woman next to her still stood and stared. Then she snorted, and soon was rocked with laughter. Both Anna and Gavin met her with disbelief. What was happening here now? When the woman was able to breathe again, she turned around to face Anna and introduced herself as Jacquie Miller. She told her how delighted she was to see Gavin Pinkerton being turned down by someone, since he hit on everything that had two legs. It had been high time he was rejected so distinctly, and doing it in public had just been a bonus. Of course she had seen how miserable Anna had been in the previous conversation, but she had waited on purpose, in order to see if she was able to stand up for herself. This had been a huge success. Anna could not herself, but started giggling as well. In fact, this was the most humiliating rejection for a man like him, and it had been her who had caused it. She could be proud of herself.

While still talking to Jacquie, who seemed like a really nice woman, Anna felt her chest pocket vibrating. It was her cellphone. With an apologetic smile, she turned away from Jacquie, and then opened the text message that had just arrived. It was from him and read “Hey Anna, sooo sorry about today. Had to work an extra-shift&my cell was dead. Couldn’t call. So sorry!! Meet me tomorrow at my house, 3 p.m.? Will be there, I swear! Please. I’m so sorry.” Although still being mad, she smiled. He really made an effort to soothe her, and that was a good sign. She still was no sure whether she should go there.

After the gallery had closed, she quickly rushed over to the grocery store, because she was out of everything - one of the biggest disadvantages of living alone was that nobody could do the shopping for you. Before she had a chance to actually enter the store, her cellphone rang. When she answered, his meek voice met her ears. He apologized again for standing her up in the afternoon, and insisted on her coming over the following day. Since it was a Saturday, and she therefore had the day off, she reluctantly agreed. After all, she really wanted to see him, and today had shown her that she was actually stronger than she had thought.

Although it would probably have been smarter to keep the dishes as something she had to do in the morning, in order to distract the thoughts from the upcoming meeting, she decided to clean the house there and then. All those dishes with the flies flying around irritated her. Besides, her mind was already going crazy about the next day, so it was not too bad to be distracted right now. Nobody knew how that date, if it was a date, would go, and she was both excited and scared. It was obvious that she would not get a lot of sleep this night, but it was worth a try.