1.8 Weigh the anchor, set the sail

Some days had passed since Anna had last seen Benjamin. The excitement had worn off a little, and finally was replaced by guilt. When she was in his arms, she thought of Jo. When his lips passionately explored hers, she thought of Jo. When she was alone in her bed afterwards, she thought of Jo. The thrill was nice, but it didn’t keep her satisfied. It was not enough to be with this man who wanted her body, but was not willing to cope with her soul.

Gardening helped organizing her thoughts, even though some plants had already died throughout the last days. Every time she plugged a leaf off, it hurt her, physically. All of the plants were friends to her, and if she didn’t have enough time to take care of them, something had to change.

Figuring her life out still was even harder than she thought. Benjamin, Jo, plants, job, house. So many things to consider. For now it was the best to focus on the last three, until her mind was settled. She did some shopping and got a few new clothes from her salary. Then she went back home and began cleaning the house conscientiously. Every single spot was dust-free by the end of the week.

As soon as the weekend arrived, she put on one of the new dresses she had gotten second-hand, called Jo and invited him to the summer festival. It was where they had met for the first time so many weeks ago, and it was the right moment to take the next step. She decided to listen to her heart for once.

She arrived earlier than him, as usual. Punctuality was one of the few good things she had been taught back at home, and it still stuck. While she was waiting, her cell phone rang. She answered, and was greeted by Benjamin’s seducing voice. He wanted to see her, right now. In that very moment, she spotted Jo riding down the street towards her. She swallowed hard. The decision was to be made right here, in this instant. Before she had the chance to say anything, a deafening noise appeared out of nowhere. When she looked around, irritated, she saw a small plane flying by, carrying a banner that advertised trips with hot air balloons. Knowing that Benjamin was afraid of height, she made up something about getting on one of these balloons any minute and how he could join her if he wanted. Snorting, he said no and hung up. She had only seconds before Jo approached her, but these few seconds were enough.

Then he was there, standing right in front of her. Smiling his beautiful smile that warmed her heart and made her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the entire world. Without saying a word, she threw her arms around him and kissed him. He was a little overwhelmed by her eagerness and stepped back after a minute to catch his breath. Only this second did he realize how great she looked in that blue dress of hers. He still couldn’t believe she was his. Throughout the last days, nasty gossip had reached his ears, gossip about her dating various men. He refused to believe any of it, of course, nevertheless that had made him a little insecure. 

He decided to be brave for once, and asked her if any of the gossip was true. For a second, she froze and stared at him with a blank expression. But then a smile spread across her face and she took his hand. She assured him that, despite a very rough past, she had now found her path in life, and that he was a great part of it. This didn’t necessarily answer the question, but it was all he needed to hear. Looking into her eyes, he actually saw a future. You couldn’t change the past, but you could define the present. And when she asked him to move in with her one minute later, he didn’t hesitate. 

All he asked for was a few days to tell Chuck the great news. She accepted his condition, knowing that Chuck probably wouldn’t be too happy about this change in their relationship. In his eyes, she was worthless and cheap, and although she technically didn’t care about this any longer, she was a little worried that Chuck would try and make Jo stay with him at the farm, no matter the cost.

Both Anna and Jo were overwhelmed with joy and emotions. They were going to live together in Anna’s house, which they could then expand a bit with the help of their combined income! And although they had never heard “the talk” before, Anna could very well imagine spending the rest of her life with this wonderful man who had taught her to be happy again. This was a memorable day, and they decided to spend it surrounded by the other villagers at the festival.

While Jo tried to skate without landing flat on his face after a few seconds, Anna participated in a contest that involved a huge plate of hotdogs. While she stuffed hotdog after hotdog into her mouth, all she could think about was the amazing change in her life that was going to happen very soon. In a week, a man would be living with her. Time to come clear with everybody else, especially Benjamin. Or maybe not. Maybe the easiest way was to just ignore him, until he started looking for another woman who pleased him.

Yes, this was definitely a good idea. While she waited for the other contestants to finish – although there was no point, since she clearly won –, she couldn’t help but smile. Benjamin was no longer a part of her life, she was sure of that. She didn’t need him, she didn’t need the affection she had gotten from him during their secret meetings. Hopefully.

When she joined Jo on the skating rink, she was witness of his improved skills within seconds. She laughed, ran over to him and helped him get up. He seemed to be hurt, since he kept holding his back, wreathing in pain. When she offered to take him to the hospital, he just laughed and told her that pains like these came with age. Indeed, he was quite a lot older than her – she had never noticed the wrinkles on his face that were now clearly visible in the light of the streetlamps.

A few days later, the night before the big move, Anna climbed into the brand-new bed they had picked out together. Tomorrow, everything was going to change forever. A new life was about to begin, and she could only imagine what it would have in store for her and the man who brought back her smile. This night the bad dreams didn’t come, for the first time in ages.

1.7 Love comes, love goes

From now on, there was not a single day Anna didn’t spend with Jo. His presence made her feel more alive than she had ever felt before. Due to the compared sizes of their houses, they mostly met at his place. At one of those dates that later inevitably ended in the bedroom, she was officially introduced to Jo’s roommate, Chuck. He seemed like a nice and quiet guy, who just was really interested in horses – just like Jo.

One day, when Jo was busy at work longer than expected, Chuck and Anna politely started a conversation. She, being all dressed up, at first didn’t feel comfortable around this man she barely knew, but soon changed her mind. Chuck always seemed to know what she was thinking and it got easier to talk to him every minute. More than one time she caught his gaze wandering over body, and somehow she liked it. It was confirmation that she was looking pretty, which was a huge boost for her self-esteem. The last weeks had proven to her that she didn’t need to hide anymore. Sure, the nightmares came back every now and then, but with Jo’s help she slowly learned to fight them. Although she had not told him everything that had happened to her in the past, she had talked to him about enough of it to make him aware of her hurt soul. The way he treated her made her feel special in a good way, for the first time in ages. She was Anna Vocis, a nature-loving young woman who had all her life to live. It no longer mattered what she once had been. She lived in the now.

Chuck approved of Anna’s (new) open-mindedness. When Jo had first told him about the new love of his life, she had sounded fairly boring; this seemed like a completely different person. Anna laughed at his jokes, asked him questions and seemed genuinely interested in his hobby, the horses. From time to time, it almost seemed like she was flirting with him, teasing him.

Completely forgetting that Jo could come home any minute, Anna started shamelessly flirting with Chuck. He adored her, this was obvious by now, and she wondered why she shouldn’t take advantage of that. It was not like anybody would be harmed by a few innocent jokes and a couple of smiles. She had earned this, hadn’t she?! It was finally time for people to recognize her as the woman she desperately wanted to be. A strong woman who could stand up for herself. A beautiful woman who could control men by snapping with her well-manicured fingers. A self-confident woman who finally could make this town her town.

When they heard the distinctive sound of hooves fast approaching the farm, Anna quickly backed off. After all, she didn’t want to hurt anybody. Flirting didn’t count, but everything beyond it did. Chuck thought differently, he already considered this to be cheating in a mild form. Now that her spell on him had been broken by Jo’s arrival, he suddenly realized that this was wrong. He shouldn’t be flirting with his roommate’s girlfriend, even if she was the most mysterious and captivating woman he had ever met in his long life in Appaloosa Plains.

To distract Jo from the strained atmosphere between her and Chuck, Anna ran over to the kitchen to make some dinner. Jo was a regular guy: steak with potatoes and lots of gravy were the right things for him in the evening. What was entirely missing on his personal menu were vegetables every now and then. Anna knew that she couldn’t make him eat five portions of fruit and vegetables every single day, but a lovingly arranged plate with three different kinds of salads, peppers, cucumber and mushrooms was not too much to ask. Especially when it came with a pretty lady as dessert.

She also tried to trick him into eating fish every other day, as a healthier alternative to steak. Unfortunately, she was not very gifted when it came to fishing. Anna spent hours and hours at different ponds, trying to catch a single fish. The first one was so small she could barely see it – she generously released it again. At this rate, she would not have enough fish for an entire dinner within a week. As quickly as the plan had arisen, it was cancelled.

Between taking care of Jo at his farm and her job there was rarely any time left to take care of her growing garden. The products she harvested were stored in her fridge, until she picked them up on a quick trip home, before she headed to his place again. She and Chuck barely talked, and he successfully managed to stay out of the house most evenings.

During this time, the nightmares got worse. They always were the same – she was in her home, desperately fighting a fire in her kitchen. All she had was a crooked fire-extinguisher that didn’t work properly, and nobody heard her screaming. She never managed to control the fire; it always got out of hand. When she tried to turn around and run, she found herself bound to the floor by some sort of intense gravity. Soon, her screams died away and turned into sobs. Nobody heard her, and nobody came to rescue her from this unnaturally bright kitchen.

Whenever Anna woke up from tears streaming down her face, she silently lay in bed for a few minutes, eyes wide open. The past was supposed to be buried, but it started to come back. What had happened in her life that made her feel helpless again?

She never was able to get back to sleep right after the dreams, so she used the free time that was forced upon her for her garden. It expressed its gratitude by flourishing in beautiful colors. The apples were red and shining, the salad almost beamed in a strong green. Even the reluctant monkshood had opened its leaves and revealed a frail pink.

Her successes in the garden brought in some extra money which she got from the local grocery store. Anna grew more vegetables than she could possibly process, therefore she sold a part of them.

One of those days, when she stepped out of the store after a successful sale, she almost tripped over Benjamin Schmidt, who she hadn’t seen for a long time. Ever since she had gotten together with Jo, she had tried to ban Benjamin from her memory, and it worked most of the time. Now that his eyes locked with hers, she could practically feel her heart beating faster again. She loved Jo, she was aware of that. But Benjamin draw her to him in a way she couldn’t explain.

When she kissed him right there, in the middle of the street, both of them were surprised. Benjamin knew what effect he had on women, but until now he had thought that she had chosen another guy over him, considering that she never called. Anna felt brave and incredibly weak at the very same time. This was a man who endangered her happiness, but who also completed it. This didn’t make any sense, yet it was completely logical.

They stood there, refusing to let go of each other, for at least half an hour. Neither of them was aware of the paparazzo standing right behind them, capturing every minute of their adventure on camera.

After some more time, Anna reluctantly let go of Benjamin and looked into his eyes. She saw desire and craving. Being so close to him, smelling his skin and hair almost drove her crazy, and she knew that if she didn’t back off now, she was entitled to make a mistake she was going to regret for a long time. No, Benjamin was not her boyfriend – Jo was! Jo was waiting for her, at his place, with a glass of champagne in his hand, because, in fact, it was their one-year-anniversary today. This wasn’t right. This was never right.

Very late that night, Anna could be spotted with a brunette guy, making out behind the bushes that separated the street from her tiny house.

Author's notes:  Anna is back! There is so much going on in her life, that it was high time to let you be a part of it again. And I think I'm ready to do that. Writing her story felt right, for the first time in what feels like ages, and I even had fun. Seems like I'm back, as well. :)

Some hilarious OUTTAKES I couldn't hide, that didn't make it into the chapter:

"Can't breathe... can't breathe..."

Anna is exhaling hearts. Or Chuck is smoking one, I can't really decide.

A "small" water-balloon Oo

Apology and Announcement

Hey guys,

I know there have been no new posts for quite some time now. One reason is that I had huge problems with my game for quite some time after buying a new notebook. Now it's working again, more or less, but I am still scared that it will break down again, and therefore haven't played that much since this incident.

In addition, I'm having a writer's block. Writing new chapters for any of my legacies is something I'm not too fond of at the moment. Maybe this has something to do with the internship I'm doing during August, which includes a lot of teaching. Being around 15-year-olds five hours a day is astonishingly exhausting... and preparing our material and lessons is not exactly relaxing, either. 
Well, like I said, this is one reason for my lack of enthusiasm. The others are more complex and kept me in a state of not wanting to do anything for a couple of weeks. Getting better now. Maybe I should just force myself to write a new chapter, especially since I have so many pictures waiting. So please have some more patience with me, I will be back soon. Promise!

You might also have noticed that your feed has gotten a little shorter. I decided not to continue my Wishacy "Sweet as Honey" and the "Opposites Attract" Legacy and already deleted those blogs. To be honest, those were just spontaneous ideas I had, and since I like the feeling of starting something new, I rushed into this. There is no point in continuing them, because I didn't even enjoy playing. Writing the last chapters for the Wishacy was a real struggle, and as soon as I started the "Opposites" Legacy, I knew I wouldn't be happy with it. The idea might have been funny, but I didn't want to do it. Sorry that I dragged you guys into it and introduced you to something that is not going to be continued now. Now I have my DITFT and my ISBI, that's all I can take and all I want to do. Both are intriguing and new, and I am trying to get back in the game.

Keep your eyes open, it will be worth it - soon! :) Thanks for staying with me!